BEST TURNED INTO WORST
Big plans and high hopes, that was what I had for my Algarve trip.
It was my bucketlist adventure that I’ve been working towards, and for a reason; I have always been interested in living abroad. For some reason the Algarve was on the top of the list of places to live, eventhough I had never travelled there before. I booked a three week vacation with Mochi and decided to roadtrip to three different cities.
I had traveled with Mochi by plane before, so it went pretty smooth. I’m always stressed when I have to wait for her crate to come through. Is she still in one piece, did she poop, pee or vomit?? Luckily it’s never like that, she is just stressy and super hyper. See Travel Tips for more dog and plane adventures by the way. :) My rental car was ready and waiting for me, and although I had absolutely no brain space to remember anything the car guy explained, it all worked out.
I drove to my first destination which was a guesthouse of friends of mine. I was gonna stay a week and tattoo them. I’ve been there before, so it was familiar, which was a great way to settle a bit.
They had very cute dogs but ofcourse Mochi didn’t like ‘m. I couldn’t really sit outside and relax without her being on Protec and Attac duty 24/7. In new places, where she still feels insecure, her gard is always up.
But the place was lovely and chill. We did some some driving around, wandered through the city center and tried to hike. I say try, because I couldn’t find the trail at all after an hour in the car. Luckily it was a pretty and scenic route so no stress or overwhelmed feeling. It made me aware that we can be prepared to the best of our abilities, but a lot of the times we are surrendered to the level of communication of others. With how much info they can provide us, we have to make due. In this case, no clear signage.
MIDNIGHT GUEST
I don’t know why but I was feeling a bit down. I was on my period, so I think this contributed as I get way more easily triggered by small stuff.
In any way, feeling a bit down made me have one of the most terrifying nights I’ve ever experienced.
It was horrifying, let me tell you. Traveling alone obviously means sleeping alone in new and unknown places. So one night I was fast asleep, when all of a sudden I felt somebody in the room looking at me. I felt this presence coming closer and closer. I tried to open my eyes but I was struggling so hard! I felt this entity leaning over me and I saw it slowly reaching out to me. Being in this sleep yet awake state felt like being underwater with your eyes open. Your vision is blurry, your experience is in two worlds at the same time, above and under water. And all this time it’s so hard to distinguish which is which.
Suddenly I felt a pressing sensation on my chest like somebody was choking me, but I couldn’t move or sit up! I had difficulty to breathe and because of this, I snapped out of it.
I was so scared of the room the rest of the stay and I was sure there was something supernatural going on. The downside of traveling alone I guess.. I was ready to go to my next destination and get the f*ck out of there. I later found out this experience is called sleep paralysis. Where you become conscious and aware but are unable to speak or move. Where you have vivid, realistic hallucinations, including sensing a presence in the room or a pressure on the chest.
So my horrific experience that I wish upon no one, was a normal textbook occurrence. So no joke, every night before I fall asleep I do a little prayer now.
OLHÃO & MONCHIQUE
Back to reality, Tavira was a cute and small village with typical Portugese architecture. My next destination was Olhão, which was a more urban vibe city. I had the prettiest Instagramable AirBnb and that was a good thing, because I spend more time inside than outside. I didn’t do a lot of exploring by car because I had a place in the city center. I was already happy that I found a parking space upon arrival. Getting overwhelmed trying to park every time I went out wasn’t on my to do list. I was a bit sad, but I was picking my battles.
Another little sad thing was that every restaurant was closed between 2PM and 7PM, which was my window to eat. So most lunches and dinners were supermarket and home cooked. Yay on saving money but annoyed that I couldn’t really try a lot of foods. And again, going out at night was not a battle I wanted to enter. And HSP-me also doesn’t like to go to dinner solo amidst the socially loud crowds.
Not having energy to face a lot of battles, being alone actually felt a bit lonely on this trip.
My next stay was up in the mountains. What a great idea for HSP-me with driving triggers to drive up and down steep slopes, sharp squiggly S-turns and narrow roads every time you want to go somewhere. So ofcourse I was more inside than out with this AirBnB too. I was so done with this trip, driving issues, food issues, mentally not well issues, ghost issues, I was ready to leave and never do a solo trip again.
Life isn’t always great but my initial thought was that this vacation was going to be great! When something didn’t go well it really brought me down. I didn’t have the tools to help myself and I felt lost within my own mind and body.
It is not only after a year that I realise I had to have this vacation to learn about how I work and how I can prevent things from happening or how deal with situations better. I deleted my Portugal photo album on my phone, I never wanted to see the pictures ever again. But reminiscing, I took so many nice pictures, see lots pretty things and visited cool places. But when I’m mentally not well, I view my life the same way. Things have to happen, this trip had to be like this. My task was to learn from it and not let it get the best of me. I didn’t know how to recharge myself. And this trip was depleting my already empty battery and was working on my reserves. And my reserve is called ‘Let’s get triggered and overwhelmed by EVERYTHING.’
Reactie plaatsen
Reacties